BDSM as a Sexual Orientation.

I want to give my BDSM story in support of the idea that BDSM is not always something chosen, in support of the idea that BDSM is a sexual orientation that possibly has some genetic roots to many of the people who like/practice it.

I do not practice BDSM in the traditional sense with whips and chains etc. I would if I was with someone who wanted to do that, but my husband does not find that sort of thing sexually interesting. I can say though that power play sex is the only type of sex that I fantasize about and the type of pornography that is able to most easily arouse me and make me cum.

How our parents grew us up was somewhat conservatively. I did not actually know what sex was until I was 19 years old. I really just did not know. I started masturbating about around 14. I had no idea what I was doing, never even penetrated my vagina, but I did know that it felt good and was something that I should only do in private. Between 14 and 19 I masturbated a lot, without knowing what I was doing. I rubbed myself against a pillow sometimes but most times I just used my fingers on the mouth of my vagina.

It was fun, something I looked forward to at night. I did not have actual fantasies about men or sex during this time because I did not know what sex was, but I did have fantasies about domination and being dominated. I would masturbate about being pushed to the floor in a crowd, being not in control of my surrounding, being punished and as bad as this last one sounds coming from a black person.. I used to masturbate about the idea of being a slave on a plantation. It was not sexual fantasies but it certainly was power play fantasies.

The reason I am sure that BDSM is something innate and biological is that there were NO societal factors at play here. My parents simply never told us about sex, and I simply never knew about it. There is no other logical reason or experience that I had that I could point to or that would explain why I used slavery scenes or other images of me being dominated to masturbate.  Later when I discovered real sex and porn, I found that I immediately gravitated towards BDSM. Someone can say that okay my mother was a housewife and maybe that indicated to me that submission is normal, but she is not a very submissive person, and none of my sisters feel the same about BDSM.

I just cannot find anything in my nurture that would have led me to BDSM so I am pretty sure that for me it must come from genetics.

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