I am a recent supporter of the Men’s Rights Movement. I am 31. I am college educated, I am a gay man with lots of strong female friends who are self-described feminists. I love my friends and they love me, but not a single one of them can name me a legitimate men’s issue. So I don’t care if you UNDERSTAND that men have legitimate issues, but whether you MAKE IT A PRIORITY to help men. Feminists have a horrible public image because although there are many awesome feminists, the leadership and politics have been hijacked by radicals who use their influence to demonize and demoralize men constantly in the media. And just like you can say that anyone who does not speak out against rape culture is as bad as the rapists themselves, so too are you culpable for what a few radicals have done on behalf of your movement.
1. Men’s Right Advocates fight against the idea that men are discriminated against in rape/dv related allegations by the courts and criminal justice system:
Well, I watched my 24 year old brother go to jail because when his 3 year relationship with a girl who was 17 when he began dating her, (20 when they broke up), she got really crazy when he broke up with her, (she had been hitting him and he didn’t want to hit her back). She broke into his house and stole his computer and trashed his room, then when he came home and called the cops because he caught her in the act, HE was arrested because she knew what to say to get out of it. He spent 10 months in jail because she lied and said he abused her in court. Although he’s out now, he doesn’t talk much to anyone and just plays computer games. He bears the stigma of having been to jail too. He did not deserve that.
I have another friend whose girlfriend called the cops on him last year and lied about him hitting her because she was really angry with him. They had been shouting and the police HAD to arrest him since she said he shoved her and intimidated her. It didn’t matter that he denied it. He spent 3 months in jail and has a record now.
Meanwhile, every guy I know has been hit by a woman, usually someone he was dating or in a relationship with, and nobody arrests them. I have been hit many times by women, whether it was in the street, or by someone I knew. It didn’t matter whether I was injured. I was actually smacked on the head by some crazy lady in the street last week. We don’t report it, and we aren’t even believed when we try. Meanwhile, I’m supposed to understand when a woman treats me as a potential rapist because she’s scared? Go fuck yourself.
2. Men’s Rights Advocates state that men are 10 times more likely to commit suicide than women:
I have 5 friends who have committed suicide, none of them are female.
3. Men’s Rights Advocates frequently state that men are 20 times more likely to be homeless than women:
I have actually been homeless, none of my female friends have. I was kicked out of my house when I was 17 because I’m gay. I stayed with my older brother for awhile – you know, the rapist?
Women are actually safer in any public area where there are people around:
I was attacked in downtown San Francisco a couple of years ago by a random guy who beat me up in front of at least 50 people. Nobody helped. Meanwhile, if a woman yells for help, 10 people will come rushing to help her, including myself.
The bottom line is that I’ve gotten tired of the double standards. I’m tired of the blatant self-serving rhetoric. I’m tired of bearing the blame for things that happened before I was even born. I’m tired of the lies, the exaggerations, the callous indifference.
And I can’t wait for the next 10 years, because you will watch attendance at your meetings, classes, rallies and fundraisers dwindle until you are forced by circumstance to begin a new conversation about equality.
This was a comment on Jezebel by gavabo101 which actually brought me to tears (not much but still). He is so right. I am not an MRA but I will say that the type of equality that feminist stand for is not equality. I do not want true equality/interchangeability with males because I do not feel like that would make me happy and I do not think it is fair, but if you want equality please stand for true equality: not feminism.
Almost all homeless people in my home country are male. ALL. Women just do not end up homeless because when women have nothing they can still become prostitutes, they can still find someone to show them sympathy, they still have FEMALE privilege. To sit down and count out male privilege and complain about the patriarchy is wrong on so many levels. I do not know the statistics but I do know that men do not have it better than us and that men have NEVER had it better than us.
If you are unhappy with today’s reality change it, but do not pretend to be an under privileged class. Do not pretend that males do not face problems that females do not, do not pretend that the world is against you and that you have life so much harder than those around you, do not pretend there is misogyny. Because women exists in every class and every section of society in the same numbers as men, women have privileges too and women are not the only victims of abuse or rape or assault.