VIVA LA REVOLUTION

I am a recent supporter of the Men’s Rights Movement. I am 31. I am college educated, I am a gay man with lots of strong female friends who are self-described feminists. I love my friends and they love me, but not a single one of them can name me a legitimate men’s issue. So I don’t care if you UNDERSTAND that men have legitimate issues, but whether you MAKE IT A PRIORITY to help men. Feminists have a horrible public image because although there are many awesome feminists, the leadership and politics have been hijacked by radicals who use their influence to demonize and demoralize men constantly in the media. And just like you can say that anyone who does not speak out against rape culture is as bad as the rapists themselves, so too are you culpable for what a few radicals have done on behalf of your movement.

1. Men’s Right Advocates fight against the idea that men are discriminated against in rape/dv related allegations by the courts and criminal justice system:

Well, I watched my 24 year old brother go to jail because when his 3 year relationship with a girl who was 17 when he began dating her, (20 when they broke up), she got really crazy when he broke up with her, (she had been hitting him and he didn’t want to hit her back). She broke into his house and stole his computer and trashed his room, then when he came home and called the cops because he caught her in the act, HE was arrested because she knew what to say to get out of it. He spent 10 months in jail because she lied and said he abused her in court. Although he’s out now, he doesn’t talk much to anyone and just plays computer games. He bears the stigma of having been to jail too. He did not deserve that.

I have another friend whose girlfriend called the cops on him last year and lied about him hitting her because she was really angry with him. They had been shouting and the police HAD to arrest him since she said he shoved her and intimidated her. It didn’t matter that he denied it. He spent 3 months in jail and has a record now.

Meanwhile, every guy I know has been hit by a woman, usually someone he was dating or in a relationship with, and nobody arrests them. I have been hit many times by women, whether it was in the street, or by someone I knew. It didn’t matter whether I was injured. I was actually smacked on the head by some crazy lady in the street last week. We don’t report it, and we aren’t even believed when we try. Meanwhile, I’m supposed to understand when a woman treats me as a potential rapist because she’s scared? Go fuck yourself.

2. Men’s Rights Advocates state that men are 10 times more likely to commit suicide than women:

I have 5 friends who have committed suicide, none of them are female.

3. Men’s Rights Advocates frequently state that men are 20 times more likely to be homeless than women:

I have actually been homeless, none of my female friends have. I was kicked out of my house when I was 17 because I’m gay. I stayed with my older brother for awhile – you know, the rapist?

Women are actually safer in any public area where there are people around:

I was attacked in downtown San Francisco a couple of years ago by a random guy who beat me up in front of at least 50 people. Nobody helped. Meanwhile, if a woman yells for help, 10 people will come rushing to help her, including myself.

The bottom line is that I’ve gotten tired of the double standards. I’m tired of the blatant self-serving rhetoric. I’m tired of bearing the blame for things that happened before I was even born. I’m tired of the lies, the exaggerations, the callous indifference.

And I can’t wait for the next 10 years, because you will watch attendance at your meetings, classes, rallies and fundraisers dwindle until you are forced by circumstance to begin a new conversation about equality.

This was a comment on Jezebel by gavabo101 which actually brought me to tears (not much but still). He is so right. I am not an MRA but I will say that the type of equality that feminist stand for is not equality. I do not want true equality/interchangeability with males because I do not feel like that would make me happy and I do not think it is fair, but if you want equality please stand for true equality: not feminism.

Almost all homeless people in my home country are male. ALL. Women just do not end up homeless because when women have nothing they can still become prostitutes, they can still find someone to show them sympathy, they still have FEMALE privilege. To sit down and count out male privilege and complain about the patriarchy is wrong on so many levels. I do not know the statistics but I do know that men do not have it better than us and that men have NEVER had it better than us.

If you are unhappy with today’s reality change it, but do not pretend to be an under privileged class.  Do not pretend that males do not face problems that females do not, do not pretend that the world is against you and that you have life so much harder than those around you, do not pretend there is misogyny. Because women exists in every class and every section of society in the same numbers as men, women have privileges too and women are not the only victims of abuse or rape or assault.

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I can not say much on chivalry but I agree with this quote.

From the comments of “What we need is more chivalry!”
Dalrock
February 18, 2013
http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2013/02/18/what-we-need-is-more-chivalry/

BC: There are many men who can and want to take care of a woman/women, and are willing to literally sacrifice their lives to do so. That is to say, what men want really hasn’t changed much. But how many modern women want to follow and obey (submit to) the man in return, in the manner stated in the traditional wedding vows? Not many. Certainly not anywhere near enough to make it a decent bet.

Sis: You promise them chivalry and you’ve won most of the battle, because feminists base their goals on fear.

More modern women want to submit than you would imagine.

That is the problem, women who want to submit are not getting their voices out there. Also the reply is true feminism is based on fear. Feminism tells women, if you are not independent you will be abused, oppressed, left broke and lonely once he trades you in for a younger girl. The drive for independence is in part based on fear. Humans and women in general simply have a social part of us that craves companionship. And a huge portion of women crave submission as part of companionship. Women wanting to be independent is in a large part about fear. That fear is natural, and justified and is a part of women responding to the self driven part of us. But it is still a fear of men.

Feminism exploits women’s fears in this sense and one way for males to stop feminists from being in a position to do this is to show women that you will not abuse them if they submit to you. So TWRA is trying to say that males should come out in support of chivalry towards women. That males should support chivalry because chivalry is one way to show women that they do not need to fear men and that they do not need feminism or independence. Males need to show women that it is safe to submit. Should males have to do this? No. Is it fair? No. But that is life, it is what it is, we are were we are. The mess has been made, so we clean it up.

Women have to come out against feminism and in support of men and men have to come out in support of chivalry and submissive women. And I mean no disrespect to non-submissive women, men should support them as well, if a man feels that that is the type of woman that he would prefer to have a relationship with. But for guys who want a submissive girl, you have to come out in support of them. And part of that is chivalry as described by TWRA.

A review on the film “Eat, Pray, Love” as it relates to Feminism.

This movie was horrible. Horrible does not even being to describe this story and the fact that it was based on true events is even worse. A woman gets married and then decides she is not happy, that something is missing. So she leaves her husband, who has done nothing wrong in search of that something that is missing. She gets together with another guy and surprise!! Something is still missing so she leaves him, and takes time off from work to travel the world in search of what is missing. She goes to Italy to discover the beauty in eating. In India she finds peace in prayer and in Indonesia she finds love. In the end she found what she was looking for, she was looking for the beauty in eating, prayer and love. In the end she is happily in love.

What craziness??

One. Her husband did nothing wrong and he was hurt by her leaving, he was very sad and asked her to stay but she did not because she is selfish. Shouldn’t positive messages or stories teach us not to be so selfish and that you can find the things that are missing from your life without leaving your husband or being so selfish? I mean she could have taken a cooking class, or joined a baking club. She could have explored the world around her while being married. She could have blogged or even gotten pregnant and had a child, she would not have been so bored anymore.

Two. What makes us think this woman won’t get bored of the guy she ends up with in the end, she got bored of her husband, she got bored of the second guy, why does she think this time is any different??

Three. You do not have to travel to Italy or India or Indonesia to find yourself, this woman had too much money and not enough problems. She could have found the beauty in food through volunteering at a local soup kitchen and prayer you can find through talking to people and connecting with them, you can find that anywhere in the world. About love, she has completely failed to understand that love is not just about her, love means caring about the other person and so her divorcing her husband for no reason at all, to go seek out love and hurting him in the process shows that she does not understand what she is looking for. Her husband loved her, the problem was that she did not love him. She did not have to travel the world to find love, she just had to give love to find love. At no time in the story did the main character figure this out.

Four. I recently read that the writer of this book and movie is a feminist. I saw the movie many years ago and I thought it was stupid even back then, but reading that she is a feminist puts a whole new spin on this movie. Watch the movie if you have not seen it, it is one of the best examples of how not to structure your relationships. 

Wenn ich eine Feministin sein muesste, dann waere Ich es auf diese Art!

If I had to be a feminist this is the type of feminist I would be!

“I am fed up, fed up of all the nonsense you and your colleges are talking. Women are not oppressed. Oppressed by the bathroom? Ha. Oppressed by the kitchen, I am fed up. Women are not oppressed!!”

There are English subtitles. It is a very nice talk between two people who consider themselves feminists. Really worth a watch!!

I do not need Feminism because…

I do not need Feminism because:

  • Feminism does not support the choice of a woman to prioritize spending time with her kids.
  • Feminism claims to be the voice for women but I am a women and the views in feminism do not represent me.
  • Feminism makes issues that should be inclusive of men into ‘woman’s issues’.
  • I am not, nor have I ever been oppressed.
  • No woman that I know is or has ever been oppressed.
  • I value fatherhood.
  • I value motherhood.
  • I see the good in the patriarchy and support many aspects of the patriarchy.
  • I have no interest in men and women being interchangeable and do not think the benefits of this will out way its negative effects.
  • I really do want women to have choices as opposed to being forced into a work-force incompatible with motherhood via affirmative action and educational funding of ‘woman’s education’
  • I am interested in a world that focuses more of its attention on male education and male issues so that women, children and society at large can benefit from having well equip fathers.

We are living in a society which has been designed with the Traditional Family in mind.

It is a common notion that single parent homes are generally worse for children than dual parent homes. It could simply be because two sets of hands are better than one when it comes to raising children, but I think there is another important issue to consider when looking at this issue.

We are living in a society. The system as it is. And it was not designed for single parents. Especially single parents without regular access to extended family. Who should look after kids after school while their parent is still working? Who should look after them during the summer holidays and school breaks? Who should parent kids when their single parent is sick and totally stressed out from work and family life that never seems to end??

This system that we live in today is the result of a very long and very “patriarchal” history, and so as it is today this system is not compatible with a non-patriarchal lifestyle. It is not compatible with working women because it was designed with non-working women in mind. It was not designed for working women, if it was women would be allowed to take their kids to work and school would end after work ends, and parents and children would have vacation times that coincided.

Now with this in mind wouldn’t be logical that if you oppose the social structure that we live in you would also oppose the systematic structure and try to change the system itself to better fit to the social system that you desire?? This is a huge issue that I have with feminism. Why are they not trying to change the system? Why are they pushing women into a work force that was not designed for women? Why are they so obsessed with the theory of male female interchangeability that they ignore the signs that a cultural and societal structure mismatch results in social issues like crime, and lower productivity??

We are living in a patriarchy, and so we as individuals have two choices:

  • If we like the patriarchy we should be free to conform to it and this is a right that we increasingly have to fight for.
  • If we want to make lifestyle choices that oppose the patriarchy we need to also make changes to the system on a structural level, like allowing women to work near their babies.

Instead of trying to force non-patriarchal behavior into a patriarchal structure and wondering what went wrong feminists need to start opposing the patriarchy on a structural level as opposed to only doing so on a social level. They need to stop being so afraid if being different than men, and start admitting that maybe women and men are not the same and maybe a system created for men will not work for women, children and society.

Why are kids experiencing as many problems as they are today??? They are not surrounded by people who love them!! Why?? Because we are denying reality in favor of a male female interchangeability ideology. Change the system if you must, conform if you can, but leaving the system as it is while encouraging women to sacrifice themselves and their children is simply wrong.

To the Feminist Housewife.

I am a housewife (I do try to work for money when I can, but I could not support my family as it is and I work flexibly) but I am not a feminist. I am a housewife and so I want to understand how other housewives (especially housewives by choice) could support a movement committed to vilifying their life style choices. Read through the comments on this article, for evidence of feminist vilifying the traditional gender roles.

I know that the typical answer to the feminist housewife dilemma is that ”feminism is about choice”. So I want to ask some questions about choice:

  • Is affirmative action in favor of working and educating women about choice?? Or is it about the choice to work and limiting the choice with respect to males available to support the house-wife lifestyle??
  • Is it also about choice when they claim that 50% of the population is female therefore 50% of scientist, judges and politicians should be female??
  • Is it also choice when feminism ignores the many polls that show that women want the choice to stay at home more so than the choice to work??

To feminist housewives who choose to be housewives feminism is not about choice. It is about creating a world in which the differences between men and women are ignored at all cost. And feminism does not respect your choice to be a housewife. Yes feminism has done good things and it is not the source of all things evil but it is certainly one driving force behind reducing the choices of women.

It is one driving force dedicated to taking away the housewife option from women, and dedicated to destroying the patriarchy through encouraging female independence and enforcing policies that take away the choice to stay at home and replace it with only the choice to work.

In a society where most women do work and where more women want the option to stay at home can you feminists housewives please explain to me why you are still feminists????

What being a Traditional Right’s Activist means to me.

To me being a TWRA means that I am interested in ending the gender wars. I am interested in polices that can benefit men like male focused education, focusing more on male education than female education and encouraging women to ‘lean out’ and gravitate towards jobs that are compatible with motherhood.

It means that I am not afraid of the patriarchy and that I am interested in working on the patriarchy so that we can create a patriarchy that is more efficient and better than the patriarchies of the past. It means that I see that the patriarchy values motherhood and shares the joys and struggles of parenting more evenly than most other social systems. It means that I also want what I think is best for women, children and society.

It does not mean that I am homophobic or do not give credit to the voices of the many women who do not want to live under the rule of men. It simply means that I can see that although the voices of women against the patriarchy are the loudest voices, the numbers of the women who would be comfortable and quiet possibly happier living in patriarchy, which respects them, are higher.

It means that I feel as though the direction in which feminist and MRAs would like to take society in is towards a place that I do not want my children to grow up in. I want my kids to live in a world that is truly comfortable with their choices and which encourages them to excel in the spheres of society where they can most productively contribute to society. Where men will accept them as women (the sex most likely to birth children), and where men are equip and free to support them through the reproductive cost (and benefits) of being female.