Now like I said before the mental differences between men and women cannot always be classified as real differences because we do not know if they are an effect of socialization or if they are natural. Even if they are an effect of socialization I think they count though because at present we live in a society in which they exist and so if in this society men and women appear to want different things from each other that should be respected. But if they are only a result of socialization and have no biological roots they can be changed and that can also be a good thing.
Biologically men and women are like opposite sides to the same coin, like ying and yang; dependent, the same at their core, more alike than different and incomplete without each other. Other differences between the sexes therefore will include things like the hormonal changes that women experience every month (while men do not), menopausal changes that women experience (while men do not), the frequency with which men produce sperm leading to a higher sex drive (while women produce an egg once a month).
Even with the assumption that most of the differences we see between men and women today are social and have no biological roots, it can justifiably be assumed that many, many social differences between men and women do have biological/physical roots (whether directly or indirectly). Also if evolution took the time to give women breast and make breastfeeding a contraceptive would it not make sense to assume that it would have also given her psychological traits that would aid her in caring for infants?
Evolutionary Psychology Post. I wrote this initially for Return of the Kings blog.
Essentially without science we can define women and men by saying women make babies and feed infants and men do not make babies or feed infants; freeing them up to do other things with their time.
Have you ever heard of evolutionary psychology? Evolutionary psychology is based on the idea that because science and technology moves at a faster pace than we evolve, parts of our psychology have been designed for an environment that no longer exist. Parts of our psychology have been inherited from our hunter-gather past etc. We will never know if the claims of evolutionary psychology are true or not but they certainly are fascinating to explore! Here are a few evolutionary psychology posts:
Men value looks and kindness, while women value money; here’s why!
Here’s the thing biology intended for men and women to have different focuses. Essentially without science we can define women and men by saying women make babies and feed infants and men do not make babies or feed infants freeing them up to do other things with their time. So males are naturally inclined to focus on other things (ie bringing in the bacon), while females are naturally inclined to focus on child care.
The most important factors determining how well a woman will do her job of raising children are how kind she is and her health which can be reasonably indicated by her looks. If she has big breast she is more likely to be successful at breastfeeding. If she has a wide hips she is less likely to die during childbirth. If she has great hair she is eating well and more likely to conceive a child and provide a good home to that child both during pregnancy and after. Similarly how kind a woman is to a man is an indication to him of how nice she will be to his kids. So women the most important thing about you to a man is instinctively going to be how you look and how nice you are!
Women throughout evolution have been taking care of babies so we are naturally inclined to be pregnant and tied to our offspring. So women are naturally incline to be impressed by how well a man can take care of her when she and her children are in a state where they cannot take care of themselves. In our past this had nothing to do with money though so we unlike men are not instinctively attracted to money but rather we are mentally attracted to it, instinctively we are still attracted to “alpha males” because they once represented good providers. So guys; no matter what a woman tells you, she is naturally inclined to be impressed by your wallet or your ability to provide her and her offspring with resources!
Men are attracted to looks and kindness in women because biologically good-looking, kind women indicate that having sex with them will produce a child that is likely to survive and women are attracted to rich guys and alpha/bad guys for the very same reason; biologically they think having sex with them will produce a child whose chances of survival are high!
Why do most women want to be dominated in bed?
Polls show that as many as 60% of women have had rape fantasies and quite a large percentage of men have them as well. Many theories have been suggested to explain why this is the case.
My theory is that women (and men but to a smaller extent) are genetically inclined to want the person they are having sex with to cum. We want to be absolutely certain that he cums and that actually excites us sexually. The most certain way to be sure that he has or will come is if he is dominant and makes it clear that the sexual experience is for his pleasure. So we get mentally excited when we imagine that we are not enjoying the sex and he is because we are sure that it means he will cum. The point of the sex has nothing to do with our pleasure, his pleasure is the focus and therefore the likelihood that he comes is higher.
The other theories about wanting to be ultimately desired or free of the guilt associated with sex also makes sense, but I just wanted to add this theory to the pot. For more on women wanting to be dominated see this article: How feminism ruined my sex life.
Why women like bad boys and nice guys finish last (quite literally)!
Women are caught between two worlds. According to many theories on what early societies looked like, the early hunter gatherer societies looked like this:
Women got pregnant and had kids and mostly socialized with other women while raising their kids. Men grew up with mothers but no fathers. When they were old enough, men would seek out male role models and join gangs of men who were the hunters and protectors of the community. Women and men did not really have committed relationships, but rather men competed among each other while hunting. The guy who brings home to biggest prey is the best and would get the most sex (since he could trade his prey for sex). So from our hunter/gatherer days women are used to giving sex (or getting into relationships) with the guy who brings home the biggest prey.
And the characteristics needed to be this guy are basically asshole characteristics. Also an asshole is more likely to care only about his sexual pleasure during bed and women like this because it increases the chances that he will cum first (or cum at all), increasing the chances of conception. So we have a genetic soft spot for assholes. But times have changed and there is no longer any correlation whatsoever between being an asshole and bringing home the biggest prey, also with monogamy whether or not he prioritizes his sexual pleasure also does not matter as much. We cannot just turn off our biology though, so we still act the same… unless we are smart enough to realize that it is just biology.
We are getting there nice guys, if it any consolation way into the future we will be more evolved since the present day guy who brings home the biggest bacon is not usually an asshole his genes and the genes of those who mate monogamously with him will be the ones to be passed on. So one day in the future you will not finish last.
Women like shopping while men do not; is this part of why?
Is it a remnant from our hunter gatherer past? Women were the primary gatherers since they cared for children and had to make sure they were fed but could not take them into dangerous areas, while men who did not care for children were the primary hunters since although more risky meat meant less work for more food.
So women are more inclined to like gathering style shopping (looking around and shopping slowly for the best possible thing), while men prefer hunting style shopping (having a target in mind and getting it upon first sight).
Well that is the claim of one Evolutionary Psychologist, see more here!
The point is really that although men and women are more similar than different, there are general differences between the two groups that may have biological roots. Men may biologically be attracted to completely different thing in women than what women are attracted to in men, and even if these differences are socially driven they may still be the result of other biological differences. It is something to consider in our quest for interchangeability. So in conclusion we may not be able to prove that there are psychological differences between the sexes but if biology took the time to create physical differences it is likely that there are also mental differences and even if there are not it is likely that our physical differences naturally lead to mental differences.